I finally emptied the pod--reason to celebrate.

ALMOST EXACTLY AT THIS TIME FIVE YEARS AGO I WAS BEATEN UP AND ROBBED SEVERAL THOUSAND FEET OF MY OWN HOME.

I am trying to forgive the men who did this but I hurt more for the men who were hurt because of me.

TURNED IN THE KEYS.

It was a pretty horrible day all around.

I FOUND OUT THERE IS A 24-HOUR CVS WITHIN A MILE OF THE NEW PLACE.

I needed to buy baby gas drops, which it turned out I didn't need. Better that than when a real emergency strikes. 

LOOKING BACK IN ANGER

I can identify with Lot's wife. The angels were trying to save her, her husband and daughters from the nuclear holocaust that was Sodom yet she turned around, looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. In the MAD magazine version she was turned into a pillar of pepper. 

I remember some Bible-thumping minister saying Lot and his wife had a good life in Sodom--their daughters were probably cheerleaders at Sodom High School. I can imagine the pep rallies. But seriously, some people say it wasn't sexual deviance that caused the annihilation of Sodom and Gomorrah--it was the Sodomites' lack of concern for the poor. Maybe G-d is trying to tell us to look to the future, not the past, to shake off bad things and people in our lives. 

urbanexile@mail.com

I'M TOLD WHEN A WOMAN IS IN THE FINAL DAYS AND WEEKS OF PREGNANCY ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS GET THE BABY OUT.

Which is how I feel. All I want to do is get myself and my stuff out but it's not so easy, physically or emotionally. 

The most important stuff is out of the condo and in the new place.

FOUND A T SHIRT ADVERTISING A PLACE I USED TO WORK.

I have few positive memories of the place or the people who work there. It was dirty so I threw it into the garbage instead of washing it and donating it to charity. I don't want to promote those people or their message. One of my Facebook friends had a similar experience--she said she used the shirts to scrub the toilet. 

SORRY I'M NOT DOING AS GOOD A JOB OF THIS AS I HAD HOPED.

 I'm lucky if I sleep five hours at a time--even that's rare.

I FEEL LIKE CHOKING THE SHIT OUT OF THE NEXT PERSON WHO USES THE PHRASE "NEW ADVENTURE."

Like what? You have a leg amputated? Look on it as a new adventure. You're facing 20 years to life? Look on it as a new adventure. 

My mom's late boss used the phrase "learning experience." If something sucked he would call it a "learning experience." She asked him if he ever got tired of saying that. He admitted he did. 

urbanexile@mail.com 

I AM TRYING TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.

There is a Taco Bell/KFC about one mile away.

WHY I STARTED THIS BLOG

Because the blog I've been keeping since 2003 has become basically an extension of Facebook or Twitter. And because I'm hurting and I don't want to hurt people who have been kind to me. And because I don't want to come across to potential bosses or clients as angry, ungrateful, mentally ill or politically incorrect. There will also be mentions of tarot, astrology and psychic phenomena which may offend some people. If you really want to know my real name or contact me you can reach me at urbanexile@mail.com

WHY?

Because in spite of working three jobs I still cannot afford the mortgage, condo fees or taxes.

urbanexile@mail.com .

Today I was supposed to hand over the keys to the home I've owned for 21 years.

urbanexile@mail.com

ONE OF MY CO WORKERS WAS FOUND DEAD.

Not what you want to hear the day you start a blog. We're really off to a good start.