Some day

Didn’t watch

ANOTHER THING I HATE ABOUT THIS NEIGHBOURHOOD

The hills. It is a 15 minute walk to the nearest train station and it's part uphill and downhill, like a roller coaster. So by the time I get to the train station I'm exhausted. And if I take Uber Pool Express, even though it's supposed to be no more than two blocks from the drop off or pick up point it's sometimes three or four. Up a hill. This is especially fun if it's very hot, very cold or I'm carrying a lot of stuff.

And the closest store/restaurant is a 7-11. Big deal. Which now sometimes closes in the middle of the night. On the bright side there IS  a Starbucks nearby. Even though it's part of a huge, soulless corporation it's like part of my old neighbourhood.

HAPPY PRESIDENT'S DAY

I really don't care if you call it Presidents, President's or Presidents' Day. Or if you celebrate it or not. This isn't North Korea.

urbanexile@mail.com

Remembering my father and his twin sister who would have been 95 years old today.

Not feeling too great today.

THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD

I read that you can "rewire" your brain by recalling three things you're grateful for for 21 days. It can't hurt to try.

urbanexile@mail.com

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Seriously one of my favourite images Look at Psyche's face: 

"Psyche Being Revived by Cupid's Kiss" by Antonio Canova

An image I don't share too often because some might consider it too risque. 

A long time ago I felt like that. 

INSTANT KARMA?

Our sister station is being sold. Of course I feel horrible for most of the people there although our boss assures things will be even better for us. And maybe personally this could turn into something better for me.

But some of the people at our sister station weren't always so nice to me.

urbanexile@mail.com

SPENT MOST OF THE DAY AT HOME.

Not that that's anything new.

HOW I'M FEELING

janedoe@seductive.com

MY RELIEF GUY CALLED IN SICK AT THE LAST MINUTE.

THESE ARE THE KIND OF GUYS WHO ASK ME OUT:

If you look like this you should be able to spell.

We have compiled pictures recreating Adam Levine's #California stomach tattoo from his #SuperBowl #HalftimeShow for all 50 states 😂

Check out your state's homage to #AdamLevine's Inkhttps://t.co/QYLU2NVILx pic.twitter.com/sCjkTGt1Y4

— Inked (@Inkedmag) February 7, 2019

Click here for the original source: https://www.inkedmag.com/original-news/adam-levines-stomach-tattoo-recreated-in-all-50-states 

STRAIGHT OUTTA FUCKS

From "The Angry Bartender" 

From earlier Facebook posts: 

(Happy little fucks! )

SUPERBORE

The game was definitely a yawner and the spots not much better. There did not seem to be as many preachy spots this year, but also very few that gave me the feels, made me laugh out loud or want to  rush out to buy their products.

Finally here is an alphabetical list (from Business Insider) that I liked the most and the least--the ones that left me cold were left out:

Audi: tasteless

Avocados from Mexico: stupid. And are Mexicans not offended by that little tag at the end?

Budweiser: mildly funny, Michelob unconvincing.

Bumble--Can't Serena Williams get her own dates?

Burger King--Why?

Expensify: The third eye is kinda cool.

Google--Tries to play on our emotions but at least throws a bone to the military.

Hyundai--probably the best but I still wouldn't buy one.

Kia--gets my emotions aroused then I remind myself, "what are they selling? Korean cars."

M&M's. Stupid. I never liked the M&M guys.

Microsoft--Starts out with kids with noticeable facial deformities. I thought it was an ad for Shriner's Hospital. I guess their message is "Microsoft cares about people with disabilities."

NFL: Pretty funny even if you're not a football fan but you have to realize the NFL's 100th anniversary is next year. I thought it was either supposed to be some kind of futuristic thing or that we'd be seeing hundred-year old players.

Olay: Teasers were pretty good but how is the LGBT community going to feel about the gay-sounding villain?

Pepsi: Are you really gonna deliver free Pepsi to my car? And Cardi B looks like a drag queen. But I would like the diamond can.

Planters: A-Rod and Charlie Sheen are pretty funny.

Pringles: same but without A-Rod or Charlie.

SimpliSafe: probably even better than Hyundai "my son bought a snake on the Dark Web."

Sketchers: pleasant enough.

Sprint: pretty funny but their teasers were getting annoying. As is their spokesguy.

T-Mobile: among the best right up there with Hyundai and Simplisafe but I hear their service sucks.

Toyota: boring, tries to play on my emotions like Google and Kia. Not working.

Turbotax: borders on annoying.

Turkish Airlines:  piqued my interest but I don't plan on flying soon so why?

Verizon: more tearjerkers. This is getting old, but better than the others.

Weathertech: don't think they make bowls for pigs, why the hype for their other food bowls?

Wix: Karlie Kloss is easier on the eyes than the hipster geeks, made me actually consider them. For about a minute.

To see ALL of them, click here: https://www.ispot.tv/events/2019-super-bowl-commercials


urbanexile@mail.com

"NEWS IS SOMETHING THE PUBLIC HAS NOT HEARD BEFORE"

That's what they teach you in journalism school. Of course to some people it's news that the sun rises in the East.

A music professor taught me "it's deviations from the norm that sell tickets. You see a pig with two front legs you don't look at it twice, you see a pig with three front legs, you can't take your eyes off it."  My landlady and I were talking about a guy we know who treats Facebook as his diary "I had my favourite breakfast of prune Danish and Oolong tea." And a woman whose posts are worse "I'm on the #42 bus" or "I made meatloaf for dinner." I want to say to both of them "can't either of you eat something more interesting?" Really we should fix them up together. This woman also has a childcare business and posts about the kids she takes care of: "little Johnny burped" or "little Suzy drooled." I wouldn't care if these kids were somehow related to her or even the kids of a close friend but jeez. And she talks about my "negative Nancy" posts. When my father was dying my blog was full of four-letter words. She asked "do you have to use such vulgarity?" My answer was "yes."

I would rather hear about what people hate, what drives them nuts, what scares the bejeezus out of them. I don't care which bus/train/trolley you're on unless an Inuit woman with seven bratty little kids gets on and they're all singing Inuit folk songs. Another woman told me how draining it was to read my posts. I felt like saying "do you have any idea how draining it is to experience it?"

urbanexile@mail.com

OZZY OSBOURNE HAS BEEN HOSPITALIZED WITH THE FLU.

And he's not the only one. Ten people have died in the state I'm living in, at least five in one neighbouring state and possibly eight in another. And I feel as though I haven't got over it.

ONE OF MY COUSINS DIED IN A FIRE.

Actually she wasn't a cousin except by marriage. I remember her wedding and now I probably won't go to her funeral. She could be hurtful. My mom says "I never liked___." She suspects this cousin had schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Someone found her dead in her apartment, apparently she was smoking and probably had been drinking. There's nothing about her on Facebook--I don't see her on any other family members' friends list. And the most remarkable thing a web search turns up is arrests in two states but no obituary.

She didn't have the best life--both parents are dead, one brother dead of AIDS, a violently failed marriage and all the rest of the stuff that goes with our family. Mom tells me she didn't have life insurance but she's got three living brothers. May she rest in peace.

urbanexile@mail.com 

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

This is the Chinese year of the (earth) pig. Some people say boar. I have two boars now, had four before that, loved 'em all. 

I DREAMT I WAS AT HOHENZOLLERNPLATZ.

One of my exes lived in that neighbourhood when we were in graduate school. I made a half hearted attempt at Googling him but didn't find him.

urbanexile@mail.com

THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS ARE THE WINNER OF SUPER BOWL LIII.

I didn't get invited to any parties. Really the entire city was pretty dead but I ended up having a pleasant enough evening. I thought it was an incredibly boring game but it turned out everyone else did, too. People are referring to the LA Rams as the "Lambs" and  there are lots of hash tags like #Superbore, #Superbored and #Superboredom.

Apparently I'm not completely over this bug--I didn't finish the drink in front of me and went home as soon as the game was over. Unfortunately Uber fares tripled and possibly quadrupled or quintupled as soon as the game was over--no one wanted to hang out the rest of the night. I ended up taking a train, then taking a cab home from the train station. It was nice telling the driver EXACTLY how I wanted to go home.

TODAY IS GROUNDHOG DAY

Also the birthday of my best friend's late mother. They buried her on my birthday.

WE'RE ONE MONTH INTO THE YEAR.

I had meant to restart this blog in January after being off track for about a year. This was supposed to be about the foreclosure, my "exile" and either my triumphant return to the city or serene acceptance of life in suburbia. Neither has happened. I hate it here and can't wait to move back  to the city.

One of my co-workers died during the move, another died about seven months later, leaving me with more work. And I went back to school in an attempt to increase my income so I won't have to live in a basement the rest of my life. Instead I ended up working literally seven days a week and was too tired to even LOOK at job placement ads. My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer on December 6, 2017 and got through the radiation well but has been hospitalized numerous times with other things. I am one of few people who's happy  to get a  robocall because isn't from Life Alert, a doctor or Mom's neighbour whom I hate dealing with. Then I ended up getting sick partly as a result of the stress, partly just from burning my candle at both ends for years. 

Now I spend most of the money from the extra work I'm doing on transportation from one job to the other or going to school and on fast food because you don't crave salads when you're stressed and depressed and they don't give you the energy you need to get through a 15 to 19 hour day. 

Kind of like what the late Gilda Radner wrote in her book It's Always Something: "I started out to write a book called A Portrait of the Artist as a Housewife. I wanted to write a collection of stories, poems and vignettes about things like my toaster oven and my relationships with plumbers, mailmen and delivery people. But life dealt me a much more complicated story..."

urbanexile@mail.com