Friday, May 15, 2020
שַׁבָּת שָׁלוֹם
At least one person has compared the quarantine to one long shabbos--stuck at home with your family, nowhere to go, nothing to do.
Thursday, May 14, 2020
FLASH IN THE TRAIN
Last month a guy kept staring at me in the train station, then followed me onto the train and flashed me. This wouldn’t have happened on a normal Saturday as most trains are packed. A couple weeks later I had to deal with another creepy guy but at least he didn’t flash me. I heard a woman telling the station manager she was afraid to get onto a train for the same reason.
A co-worker says this will go on until someone gets hurt.
SERIOUSLY, IF YOU THINK YOU’RE BEING FOLLOWED, GET AWAY AND TELL SOMEONE. DON’T WORRY ABOUT PEOPLE THINKING YOU’RE PARANOID, A RACIST ETC. MY LIFE WOULD BE A LOT DIFFERENT IF I HAD DONE THAT SEVEN YEARS AGO.
A co-worker says this will go on until someone gets hurt.
SERIOUSLY, IF YOU THINK YOU’RE BEING FOLLOWED, GET AWAY AND TELL SOMEONE. DON’T WORRY ABOUT PEOPLE THINKING YOU’RE PARANOID, A RACIST ETC. MY LIFE WOULD BE A LOT DIFFERENT IF I HAD DONE THAT SEVEN YEARS AGO.
I KIND OF AGREE WITH THIS WOMAN:
I’m not a healthcare worker but I’ve been working my ass off and no one’s given me as much as a French fry.
MARCH SADNESS
They cancelled all MLB, NBA and NHL games as well as March Madness. One of my Twitter followers says “ Canceling pro teams doesn’t bother me as much as the college teams. These kids worked so hard to get this far. And the seniors - this wasn’t how the season was supposed to end.”
None of my teams were doing that well anyway.
None of my teams were doing that well anyway.
BACK IN THE USSR
There is a Safeway in Washington, D.C. known as the “Soviet Safeway” because of its long lines, empty shelves and rude staff. Now the whole city, heck, the whole country, looks like that:
And this is what Bernie Sanders and his bunch want?
THE LUCKY ONE
I have been lucky in that the Coronavirus hysteria has not affected me too much. The main thing is that almost everything opens later and closes earlier so I have to get up earlier and get home later. And pay more for Ubers because trains stop running at nine and busses at eleven. And there is no more Uber Pool or Express which is not always a bad thing.
WE HAVE AT LEAST ONE MOLE UNDER THE LAWN
Hopefully my good-liberal virtue-signaling landlady won’t have them killed.
SOLIDARNOŚĆ
In an effort to make kids not feel bad about missing their graduation people are being told to post their own yearbook photos on Facebook.
About ten years ago they were supposed to make their fave cartoon characters into their profile pictures to cure child abuse. How’d that work out?
About ten years ago they were supposed to make their fave cartoon characters into their profile pictures to cure child abuse. How’d that work out?
PEOPLE MOST AFFECTED BY THE QUARANTINE
Very old people
People with preexisting medical conditions
Poor people (let’s not mince words and call them “low income” or “economically marginalized.”
People who work at night
People who rely on mass transit
People with poor or no phone/internet connectivity
People with preexisting medical conditions
Poor people (let’s not mince words and call them “low income” or “economically marginalized.”
People who work at night
People who rely on mass transit
People with poor or no phone/internet connectivity
Wednesday, May 13, 2020
TARDE DE MAYO
Went outside for the first time since Monday. It’s the kind of May afternoon people write about. (Note: the picture was taken earlier, just haven’t had the chance to share yet)
urbanexile@mail.com
WELCOME TO WALMART
These stores are partly to blame. Normally they ENCOURAGE you to stay longer and spend more money than you intended to:
BORED
For weeks I have seen social media posts from people who complain about how bored they are. For those who lost their jobs, were furloughed etc I feel sorry for them but for the rest of them I posted this on Facebook and Twitter: “ So you're bored. Wanna give me a ride home? Pick up something at the store for me? I didn't think so.”
Didn’t get any offers.
urbanexile@mail.com
Didn’t get any offers.
urbanexile@mail.com
TRAIN, TRAIN
The brilliant people who decided to close the churches, libraries and fast food restaurants seemed to forget that’s where homeless people hang out. So now they hang out in bus and train stations or in busses and trains themselves. One morning a guy refused to get off the bus even though it was the end of the line.
urbanexile@mail.com
urbanexile@mail.com
PEOPLE CAN PRETEND WHAT THEY WANT
The whole Coronavirus issue is now more a political matter than a health matter.
urbanexile@mail.com
urbanexile@mail.com
Tuesday, May 12, 2020
IT’S FIVE O’CLOCK SOMEWHERE
The quarantine has made me resourceful. I am learning how to make my own whiskey sour mix.
A GOOD THING ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS :
It’s taken away the attention from these two:
It’s chilly back here in Canada!— Moaning Markle (parody) (@SparkleMeghan) March 12, 2020
Unfortunately Harry has a runny nose, so I will be quarantining him until after Christmas.
I’ve been through his Blackberry and cancelled all his events.
I also accidentally deleted all his contacts. Oopsie! #Meghan#CoronavirusPandemic pic.twitter.com/gAMZ5F4vuR
I DON’T HAVE THE CORONAVIRUS
But I didn’t think I did in the first place. It was mainly because psycho landlady makes me tell her I’m coming upstairs so she can put her mask on. If I had any thought I was positive I would never have posted on social media until I was 100% sure.
I GOT A NOTE
So I have a note from Homeland Security giving me permission to be on the street. But there is no picture, date of birth, Social Security number etc. It might as well say “please allow ____ on the street, bus, train etc., signed Homeland Security.”
THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR
Since I posted on Facebook that I had been tested for the Coronavirus people have been frantically contacting my boss so he texted me. Nice.
Two people in the other building where I work have tested positive but one was a visitor and I doubt I had contact to the other one.
Two people in the other building where I work have tested positive but one was a visitor and I doubt I had contact to the other one.
HE WROTE ME A LETTER
Because I work for an “essential” industry I have a letter from Homeland Security allowing me to be on the streets. So far I have not needed it but I carry it everywhere:
Monday, May 11, 2020
Sunday, May 10, 2020
SOCIAL DISTANCING
I know this is old news—I am saving it for posterity:
Some people get hysterical if you get anywhere near them, let alone cough. Last year a movie called “Five Feet Apart” came out. It was about a couple with cystic fibrosis. Not sure if it also showed beautiful young people farting, puking, having diarrhea or having mucus come out of every orifice.
Some people get hysterical if you get anywhere near them, let alone cough. Last year a movie called “Five Feet Apart” came out. It was about a couple with cystic fibrosis. Not sure if it also showed beautiful young people farting, puking, having diarrhea or having mucus come out of every orifice.
FLATTENING THE CURVE
The idea was to keep people at home and off the streets as much as possible so we don’t overstress our healthcare system and end up with freezers full of corpses and coffins in the streets the way Italy did. People would still get sick and die, just at a more manageable rate. Now the left has moved the finish line (the whole racetrack, even) and has decided we should not ever go outdoors until the whole world is completely Coronavirus-free:
WHAT HAPPENED
A bunch of whiny liberals can’t accept that their girl lost almost four years ago so they are punishing the world by holding it hostage and making it stay home. I’ve been luckier than most as I work in an “essential” industry but we lost so much revenue we had to furlough people. Still, I’ve been luckier than most and except for about five hours in March I haven’t had a day off since February. That was to visit my mother in Florida which does not a vacation make.
WHERE THIS STUFF COMES FROM
All content here is either my own work, used with permission or common knowledge/public domain. That means snagged off the Internet Al Gore invented through web searches or social media. You can email me if you want to know more. In all the years I’ve been blogging only one person has asked me to take down a picture they posted.
urbanexile@mail.com
urbanexile@mail.com
Thursday, May 7, 2020
Friday, May 1, 2020
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